An Excerpt: My First Breakup

This is it. One wrong move and I find myself crying to sleep. Days, maybe weeks of putting up the brave face. The ultimate, cliché teenage drama. Everyone has been through it and everyone has heard of it. But for me it was the first time. Maybe the last, hopefully. 

So, wearing my heart on my sleeves, I fell in ‘love’. Not once, but twice with the same guy in a row. Tramp? No. I was in love. Deeply, madly, unconditionally. Until the hands of practicality punched me right on my face. I was left stranded and confused. Wondering why all of this was happening to me.  Another cliché moment. But for me, it was the first time.

There is something about human nature which seeks for sympathy. Just had a breakup? The whole world is conspiring for you to be unhappy. No, I will not smile, the world is a cruel place. It takes days for people to get over it. For me? Well no surprise to you, it took a year. One entire year of  ‘the wait’. Sitting back now and thinking about it, I find it funny. No, I find it hilarious. So, what happened after the year was over? Did I just miraculously wake up one day and think to myself that, “hey, you know what…. you are a great girl, get over it…move on!!” No, I realized that he had thought of this way back. He had moved on way back. While, the “so-in-love” me, was waiting. Simply waiting for my stars to turn and relive the same love story again. 

The moment you see that your ex has a different face beside the “in a relationship” status, that is the moment you realize how blind and ridiculous you were. The once cute goatee seems like a bush now, that smile which made you smile makes you want to knock off all his teeth, his fascination for food makes you notice his peeking belly pouch. In a nutshell, you are no longer in love with him and his flaws. So then, life brings you to a fork road. The fun road is where you sit back and spread wild rumors about how terrible he is and how he broke your heart. Believe me, the devil will tempt you to follow this path. It is a fantastic journey, but a few more months of futility. So I chose the better path. Get up, pull yourself together, shrug off the dust and embrace the new journey. I am glad I chose the latter. Very glad.

What do you do when an entire part of your life has been erased which once held so much of importance to you? You try and fill it up with things you never had time for otherwise. Socialize, go out, write, sing, laugh, read, stare randomly out of the window and get lost in your own beautiful world. Life was better. I am an ardent believer in unconventionality. Why follow the crowd? I won’t make my own crowd! No siree! I won’t even sit at a distance and laugh at the crowd. I would rather live in a parallel world, a different dimension maybe. I can see you. But you can’t touch me. You can’t judge me. I can be me. Shamelessly.


Raise the walls high. Build the impenetrable walls. Shut the gates. It’s my own perfect world. A year goes by in my world. Everything is healed.
I decide to open up the windows a little bit. A little fresh air will cause no harm. I felt a whiff. A new breeze. That felt nice. It felt familiar. Maybe I can open up my windows just a wee bit more. I will shut them off immediately. They are wide open now. Even today. I never shut them. I was never able to.

Vulnerable or strong? Please be vulnerable, please be vulnerable……… pleaded my heart. Shut up already. You have created enough chaos. I am in charge now. No more “Fairytale dreams”, no more car rides, no more falling for flattering messages, no more being silly in love.

Do you have a tiny voice at the back of your head which speaks back to you and gives life advice, for god’s sake? Well mine is louder than my own voice, has a humongous ego and can be downright obnoxious sometimes. It’s difficult living with it seriously. You know the worst part? It is usually right.



‘ I love you’. Nope, no you don’t. I could die for you. No you can’t. ‘I have waited my whole life for you’. Were you born yesterday? ‘I just want to be with you’. Yeah, you want to be in my pants. The voice is annoying I tell you, but it is always right. If I was anything like the voice then I doubt whether I would have had any friends.

About the Book:

“Oh God, why me?”

This is perhaps what we think of when we go through a ‘breakup’.

This story is about Anirudh and Anvi.
Both of them have their own thinking which are not alike.

The story begins with Anirudh meeting with and accident. As he slowly succumbs to the pain, he starts reflecting about his bygone college days where he found his love for music. He loves Anvi dearly who is a long-lost friend of Anirudh.

The story reveals how Anirudh struggles as the hands of reality strikes him down.

About the Author:

Dhruba Das Roy  is a freelance writer, a musician by passion, and a software engineer by profession. He is from Assam, but born in a small town of Meghalaya, where he finished his schooling. He then obtained his degree in engineering from the esteemed college of National Institute of Technology. He discovered his love for music there and was the lead vocalist of his band, “The Rozarts”.

He loves rock and roll and is a great fan of the pioneers of rock and roll-(Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Queen and the list goes on). Unfortunately, as engineering life came to an end, the band had to split. Recently, he moved to Kolkata where he is working in one of leading software service based companies in India.

Not everyone can put their thoughts into words. Dhruba had never tried his hand in writing; but he had an experience, an experience which changed his life for the better. Being a vocalist, his only way of expression was through the creative way. He decided to pen down his thoughts and he discovered that writing came naturally to him. His thought process in the novel relates to the general mass in many ways. He decided to stretch his limits and ended up voicing his thoughts in a different way this time.





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